Abby had Tap tonight... she has been assigned the back row end once again. 2 years of having not quite being able to see her at the recital I asked the teacher if she could reassign her. I know dance is hard for her - specific steps that she can do somedays and not others. I understand that - but for once I want to see my daughter dance and I do not think that is so much to ask for my $42/mth and $200 costume fee. I know the teacher didn't mean to insinuate that Abby would never be good - but that is how this mom heard it. And that is all it took for me to break. Tears flowed... These things are always going to be hard for my princess. Dance requires her to shuffle step but she is unable to stop the shuffle. Golf requires her to stop her swing but she is unable to stop the movement, talking requires that she stop her sounds but that sometimes doesn't happen. The thing is - on some days she is right on... one of the best in her class but other days she just can not motor plan.
So as I see everyone laugh and giggle at my 7 mth old waving hello (something my other 2 never did this early) and I am so proud but at the same time I cry because I realize just how hard things are for a child with motor planning issues. I cry because I have 2 little ones who must battle just to "keep up". And I cry because I am glad Ari shows no sign of these problem - and know how horrible that sounds.
I had that moment today... that moment when I realized that all these therapies can not fix that some things will always be hard for Abby and Andy. No matter how much I sometimes pretend it will not.
